A Whole New Me Page 6

  "You're easy to please, you know that? Another thing I like about you."

  "I'm glad to know there are multiple things," I say, laughing.

  After that we settle onto the couch with pizza and drinks and he finds something on Netflix. It's some comedy movie I've never seen, but soon we're both interested. He’s sitting close enough that his arm brushes up against mine, but he never makes a move to take things further. I can appreciate that.

  When the movie is over, I stand and stretch. Sitting in the same spot for over two hours has made my muscles ache. I notice Ricky does the same, while pretending not to check out my ass. I say nothing and pretend not to notice, smiling to myself.

  I help him clean up the mess even though he insists I don't need to. And then I excuse myself to the bathroom. I do have to go, but I also want to freshen up a little. That pizza had garlic in the crust and I want to be prepared for a potential goodnight kiss.

  When I'm finished, Ricky takes a turn, and then we head out so he can drive me home. It's not super late, but it is Tuesday and we both have to be up early in the morning. He holds my hand on the way to the car and he opens the passenger side door for me. I definitely don't need or expect him to always do that, but it is nice.

  The drive is quiet. Neither of us feel much need to fill the silence. We're back at my dorm pretty quickly, most of campus is already in for the night, preparing for another day. Ricky parks in a spot near the entrance, turns off the car, and turns to face me.

  "I had fun tonight Tessa. And thank you for staying afterward. Made me feel less used," he says with a wink.

  "I had fun too," I say sincerely, because I really did. And it wasn't just the sex, though that was amazing. It was also the conversation and the quiet downtime. I've never really had that before. Most of my friends I met through Jackson, and they liked to do the same things he did. Kind of hard to have a conversation during a loud high school party.

  He leans across his seat and takes my hand to pull me closer. He kisses me soft and sweet, with just a hint of the ferocity from earlier in the night. My blood heats a little at the memory and I have to resist the urge to crawl into his lap.

  In the end, I'm the one that stops the kiss. We've been sitting here for awhile and I'm starting to get nervous that someone will see. I'm not really into voyeurism. So, we say goodnight one more time and I make my way upstairs with thoughts of Ricky on my mind.

  Chapter 8

  This is a serious problem. And by this, I mean the fact that I can't stop checking my phone. It's Friday afternoon and I can't wait for this day to be over. So I'm obsessively checking my phone, counting down the minutes.

  Why is it that Fridays always drag? The first week of school is officially over and I think the entire campus is feeling the excitement. I'm excited to have some time to read, but most people are excited for the first game of the season. Because of that, I haven't heard from Ricky much. I'm sure he's busy preparing, but I can't deny that I'm kind of bummed we haven't spoken more. It's only been three days, but I miss talking to him.

  He's just fun to be around and he always puts a smile on my face. And I know we could become really great friends. I'm actually surprised that I've made quite a few friends already, because that's so not like me. But I'm really happy with the way things are going.

  The professor finally concludes the lecture and everyone makes a beeline for the door. Bronte and Lena are waiting right outside the building for me. They both have classes nearby and we decided that we'd meet up to discuss weekend plans. I think they want to go to the game, I haven't told them that I just want to stay home with my books.

  "Hey girl," Lena says, waving me over to where she and Bronte are waiting. "Is it just me or did that last hour really drag."

  "You're telling me," Bronte says, smoothing a hand down her face. "I thought the first week was supposed to be easy? But my biology professor is out for blood I swear. She just spent the last half hour explaining how she does her grading. She basically said she doesn't believe in extra credit and that even if we're only one point away from failing or passing she will fail us. Because life doesn't give second chances. It was so harsh, I swear I thought I was going to cry."

  As she continues to vent, the three of us make the short walk to the bus stop. It's still so hot, and most people have the same idea we do. Take the bus to enjoy the air conditioning. It takes a good forty five minutes to make it back to the dorms, because the bus is so full. People are constantly getting on and off, but even that's a struggle when you have to push through dozens of people just to move a few feet.

  When we emerge, we're all a bit breathless. But we're officially free for the weekend, and it's exciting. "So, what do you guys think? Should we go to the game," Bronte asks, looking at Lena and then me in turn.

  I fight the grimace forming on my face as I ask, "I didn't think you even liked football."

  "I don't really, but I think it might be fun to experience at least once. Plus, I think most of the floor is planning to go. We can all go together, maybe tailgate?"

  "And,'' Lena says with a sly smile, " both of your boyfriends will be there.'

  I have to laugh at the look on Bronte's face at that statement, because she's now blushing bright red. I'm sure I am too, but I can't see my own face so I don't care as much.

  "Oh stop it, he's not my boyfriend. We haven't even seen each other since the party, and we barely spent any time together then. Besides, Tessa is the one banging the quarterback.," she says, pointing a finger at me.

  "Hey," I practically yell. "That was one time. And that doesn't change the fact that you've been texting with Aaron since last week. You totally want to go to the game to see him."

  She stares at me for a second and I'm not sure what she's going to do, Lena is looking back and forth between the two of us like she's watching a tennis match. And suddenly, Bronte bursts out laughing which only sets Lena and I off. We all laugh until we're basically crying and everyone around us is giving us crazy looks.

  "Ok, but seriously guys," Lena says after we've all calmed down. "Let's go, you two can see your boys and heck maybe I can get myself one."

  I don't comment as we make our way into the building and up the stairs, but I hear Bronte agree and they decide to check in with a few other people to make plans. I'm about to let them know I won't be going, when my phone starts to ring. I glance down at the screen and try to stop the smile that's taking over my face when I see Ricky's name.

  I mutter an 'excuse me' to Bronte and Lena, answering the call as I go towards my room. "Hey loser," I say, laughing as I hear Ricky groan about the nickname I've adopted for him. He teased me about what I said to him that night at the party and so this is my revenge.

  "Can't you think of something better to call me, Diner Girl."

  "I will, if you come up with something better than Diner Girl," I say, making a face.

  “Deal. So I'm calling to see if you'll be at the game tomorrow. I'm the quarterback you know, I need someone cheering for me."

  "You're pretty popular on campus dude, I'm pretty sure you'll have plenty of people cheering for you. Besides, I don't even like football," I say that part quickly, hoping he doesn't notice.

  "Maybe, but none of them will be you," he says, clearly trying to flirt with me. And I think maybe I'm in the clear when he says, "Wait, you don't like football? Were you ever going to tell me that little nugget of important information?"

  "Ummm, I just did."

  "You know what I mean Tessa. I mean I'm not saying you have to like football, but I've been talking your ear off about it and you never said anything."

  "Hey, I like listening to you talk about something you love. Besides I mostly don't like it, because it's always been confusing to me. Maybe if you keep talking about it, it'll start to make sense."

  "So, you'll come to the game then? That'll be a good place to start."

  And I freeze, because I realize that I've just put my foot in my mouth. I've pretty much given
the perfect reason for me to be at that game.

  "Alright, I guess I'll go. But you owe me dude."

  "Yes,” he says excitedly. "I'll look for you after and we can hangout. There's a party at the house and then maybe you can just stay over. But I have to go baby, break is over. I'll talk to you soon OK? Bye."

  He hangs up before I can really respond to everything he just said. I did agree to go to the game, but I'm really not sure about going to the party, and I definitely don't think that me staying the night is a good idea at all.

  I lay back on my bed, just needing a minute to process how I'm feeling. In such a short amount of time, I've really grown to like Ricky and him being a part of my life. But it also makes me feel anxious, because it is so soon. And I cannot get attached you know? Look what happened before.

  I'm interrupted from my inner turmoil by a knock on my door. And then Bronte sticks her head inside.

  "Hey," Everything alright," she asks, her voice full of concern. I'm sure my face must look a little distressed.

  "I'm not really sure. Ricky just called to ask if I'd go to the game and I said yes."

  "OK," she says, drawing out the word. "So, what's the problem exactly?"

  "Because, then he asked me to go to a party afterward and spend the night at his place. And I just don't feel really good about that. We're not in a relationship and it makes me nervous that he's kind of acting like we are."

  "Ok, first of all, if you don't want to spend the night just tell him that. I'm sure he was just excited in the moment, but just set him straight. And second, are you sure that's what's actually bothering you?"

  I know what she's talking about, but I play coy, hoping she'll drop it. "So, did you and Lena figure out a plan for tomorrow?"

  "Oh no you don't missy. Come on, we need to talk about this."

  I feign ignorance and ask, “Talk about what?"

  "You like him Tessa, and it's OK to admit that. And for the record, I think you want to spend the night, but I think you're afraid to get too attached. You made it so clear to him that you didn't want a relationship and I think he knows that. Spending the night doesn't have to mean anything more than you want it to. This relationship can work however you guys want it to,"

  "But you know Tessa, if you want to date him for real, you should. Who the heck cares how long you've known him or what anyone else will think. You met someone, you like him, that's totally normal. Plus, I think he's already proven he's nothing like that other asshole."

  I know she's right. I mean really there's no rule that says I can't date him. I'm just afraid, because I really like him and that means he has the power to hurt me. I've never really explained this to Bronte or anyone, but I think she knows. She can tell.

  But just to be clear, this was not triggered by Jackson leaving me, because screw him. I think I've always been this way, which is why I did cling so hard to our relationship. I just wanted to know I had someone. With Ricky though, it feels different. Because with him it feels like so much more and it scares me that it developed so quickly.

  “I know he's not and that's what freaks me out I think. I could really fall for him if I let myself. And I'm just not sure I want to."

  She nods her head in understanding, and at this moment I am so grateful for her. I don't want to talk about this with my mom, because I know she'll instantly latch onto the idea. She's a hopeless romantic, that mother of mine, and she will love Ricky right away. I think I want to talk to Ally about it eventually, but not until I've officially decided one way or the other. I'm not sure she'd understand what Ricky and I are doing right now.

  "OK, enough heavy talk for now. Everyone's in the common room, let's go make some plans," she says, as she jumps up clapping her hands. It reminds me of days when I was still living at home and my mom would do the same thing while declaring we were going to clean the house top to bottom.

  "Yes ma'am," I say, giving Bronte a mock salute. She laughs and starts swatting at my ass to get me out the door.

  We join everyone in the common room, finding seats over by Alex, Lena, and a few other girls that were part of the party group that night. Of course they're discussing Ricky and I catch Alex, Bronte, and Lena casting glances my way. No one but those three know what's going on between us.

  I shake my head at them, letting them know I'm not bothered. Ricky and I agreed to do this thing exclusively. So, those girls can pine all they want, but Ricky is all mine for now.

  Eventually the girls start deciding on times to meet up and activities that will be taking place. The game starts at one in the afternoon and they want to be there and set up for tailgating by eleven. Everyone agrees to meet downstairs in the lobby at nine and we all decide who will be riding with whom.

  It seems the guys have a few large vehicles to drive everyone and they've already purchased all the food and drink. It's currently being stored at someone's brother's campus apartment. Said brother, a senior, will be meeting us there with the supplies and some of his friends.

  After everything is settled someone suggests throwing on some movies. We all decide on Lord of the Rings, it's not too late so we could probably make it through all three movies. Snacks and drinks are acquired, pillows and blankets are brought in. Some people make beds on the floor and some spread out on the couches. One of the guys even decides to make a table into a bed. Not everyone from the floor is here, but it's a good amount. And it feels nice to just hangout in such a low key way. Tomorrow we'll all do our own things, but tonight we just want to relax.

  I glance over at Bronte and smile. I think if it hadn't been for her I'd be hiding out in my room right now, not having made any friends. She must feel me looking at her, because she catches my eye and smiles back like she knows exactly what I'm thinking.

  Chapter 9

  The excuse to day drink really seems to be a great motivator for a bunch of college kids. Well, that and a ton of free food, because at almost nine on the dot everyone is downstairs and ready to go.

  I was expecting to leave at least a half hour late. Not that it matters much to me if we're on time for tailgating at a football game, but I always like to be prompt.

  The drive to the stadium is pretty quick, but it's clear that traffic coming from out of town is pretty backed up. We pull into the parking lot along with the two other cars and find spots not far from our entrance gate. I don't bother helping to unload or set up. I have no idea where anything goes and it seems like the boys have everything under control.

  I send a quick text to Ricky letting him know that I actually did show up and then Bronte and I decide to take a walk to scope out everyone else here. There are people everywhere and almost everyone already has a cup of something in their hand. I decide not to partake. I'm not much of a drinker as it is and I don't think beer for breakfast is the best idea.

  After about two hours of wandering around, eating grilled food, and chatting with random people, I've decided that tailgating isn't terrible. I mean it's not something I want to do on a regular basis, but it's not terrible. When noon hits, everyone starts making their way into the stadium.

  We’re able to get in pretty quickly, because we already had tickets. Bronte and Lena purchased them last week and had the foresight to get me one just in case. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have been able to go, getting tickets the day of is almost impossible.

  The place is huge. I mean of course it is, this is a huge university. But still, I've never seen a football stadium. Only the football field at my high school. Unless we get seats close to the field I probably won't be able to see Ricky.

  But, it turns out I don't need to worry, because our seats are great. Second row back from the field. I snag a seat at the end, because I'm guessing I'll be getting up a lot, and I hate being that person that makes everyone get up from their seats.

  People are steadily filing in and I know that it's going to be a full house. People are excited for the first game of the season. I'm just excited to see Ricky play, which does surprise me a
little, but I'm hoping this whole experience will get me more interested in the game overall. Only time will tell.

  * * *

  Two hours. It's been two hours and the game is finally halfway over. I'm not stupid, I know that each quarter of a game takes way longer than fifteen minutes. I also know that a game usually lasts about four hours. But I foolishly had hoped it would be over sooner.

  At least I can watch Ricky. He's number twenty-three, so I spend most of my time tracking him. Bronte and I talk a little, but mostly she's focused on Aaron and aren't we a pair. If this were a cartoon I swear we'd both have hearts in our eyes.

  Halftime is called and the players begin to run off the field. That's when Ricky spots me, a huge smile lights up his face, and he raises his hand in a wave. I wave back, blowing him a kiss with a wink, making him laugh out loud as he walks away. I sit back in my seat and I get the creeping sensation that I'm being watched and see Bronte, Alex, and Lena all smirking at me.

  "Oh, don't even," I say, waving them off before they can start in on me.

  "Fine, fine," Alex says while laughing, holding her hands up in surrender. "But girl, I think that little exchange just made you famous."

  I give her a confused look, because I have no idea what she's talking about. And she gestures subtly to some of the people behind us, mainly a group of girls. They're all giving me looks ranging from outright anger, to genuine confusion. The vibe screams, "Why her?" My heart sinks into my stomach.

  This was another thing that concerned me about really getting involved with Ricky. Everyone knows him, everyone loves him, people think they have an automatic right to his time and attention. It's like with celebrities, just because we see them on a big screen people think that gives them an open invitation to their lives.

  Being with Jackson was like that. I didn't have many girlfriends, because most girls were jealous. They felt that they deserved to be with Jackson. And not one day went by during my senior year that I didn't hear nasty things whispered about me in the halls, or have awful notes shoved into my locker. I ignored it, and for the most part things were fine.